Amateur Swingers

Amateur Swingers Being a happy and healthy couple in the Lifestyle requires a lot of love, trust, flexibility and energy. Couples that enjoy the Lifestyle to the fullest have one thing in common, they know "The Rules." Now these are not a book of rules on how to find the perfect mate, or how to manipulate your significant other, these are the rules that you create together.

However, getting started on creating your rules requires some organization and we hope this article helps to get you started.

RULE 1:

Know Your Self: Knowing yourself is where it all starts. There are many questions one might ask to get to know yourself better. Basic questions include:

- Why am I interested in the LifeStyle?

- What types of relationships am I looking for?

- What activities will I engage in?

- What activities am I willing to explore?

- What activities will I not engage in?

- Who will I play with?

RULE 2:

Know Your Partner: Remember you are in this together. Basic questions include:

- Why is your partner interested in the Lifestyle?

- What types of relationships is your partner looking for?

- What activities will your partner engage in?

- What activities is your partner willing to explore?

- What activities will your partner not engage in?

- Who will your partner play with?

An Experience: When You Assume

A moderately experienced couple is attending a house party with eight other couples and one single female. As the evening progresses the single female is spending a lot of time and paying a lot of attention to a husband. As people become more playful, the single female takes the husband by the hand and leads him into the other room for some "private time". The next morning the wife is quiet and moody. The husband inquires "What's wrong?" The wife begins to cry and states "I can't believe you left the party to be alone with that girl. I don't even know why the bitch was invited." The husband responded in a surprised fashion asking "What did I do wrong?"

- Full Swap - OK

- Different Rooms - OK

- Single Female - Not OK

RULE 3:

Share What You Have Learned: A simple process is to discuss your individual responses to the questionnaire. Do not approach this conversation as a negotiation. Approach it as an opportunity to learn more about each others thoughts, feelings, and motivations.

RULE 4:

Create Rules You Can Love With: It is important to create a set of rules that make you both comfortable. Typically, one partner is more adventurous than the other. As you begin this process together it will require flexibility and patience. Remember, one's exploration of the Lifestyle is a process. Things begin to evolve quickly and your rules will change over time.

- Voyeurism - OK

- Exhibitionism - OK

- Intercourse with a stranger - Not OK

- Ignoring her husband - Not OK

RULE 5:

Don't Break the Rules: If you agree to a set of rules, stick to them. Don't change them in the in the heat of the moment. If you feel that you are ready to go beyond your rules, stop and discuss this with your partner. The best time to explore your rules is during the time you spend reviewing your experiences.

RULE 6:

Take Time to Review Your Experiences: This is very important. Share what you enjoyed and didn't enjoy, and what you may be willing to try. These discussions may be the most intimate and exciting discussions that you may ever have. Reliving passionate experiences can be very erotic.

RULE 7:

Take Time to Revise Your Rules: Your rules may change due a variety of reasons. If you are having difficulties in your relationship, you may wish to tighten things up or take a break. Illness, financial issues, and the stress of everyday life may also impact your rules.

If things are going well, you may wish to expand your rules. If you are experiencing a surge in confidence, the excitement of new friendships, or the comfort of familiar playmates, you may wish to make general and/or specific revisions to your rules.

Either way, enter this knowing that your individual and collective preferences will change and grow in a healthy and happy manner if you work together as a team.

BBW Swingers

You've been married 10 years or more. You know your marriage is solid, but you're looking for something to spice things up a bit. You've played around with the idea of swinging, you've talked about it together, but you've never done anything. Why not?

One of the biggest reasons people who are interested in the LifeStyle hold back is that they feel they are not desirable enough. The housewife who could afford to lose 20 pounds . The husband whose only 6-pack is in the fridge. The BBW or BHM who never WAS beautiful or handsome by conventional definitions.

Wrong!

When you go to the party, don't be a wallflower. Wear something as sexy and daring as you can and still feel comfortable. Don't feel pressured, but maybe let yourself feel free to explore a side of you that you usually keep hidden.

Many newcomers are shy, and a good host will try to draw them out, but sometimes they miss someone. There is usually a "social hour" before the fun starts. Use the time to chat with your fellow party goers, get to know them as people. Our hosts had an "icebreaker" at the end of the social hour where all the guys lined up opposite the girls and everybody introduced themselves to the person opposite them and hugged (or kissed or whatever they felt comfortable with). Then the guys shifted one position to the left and repeated until every girl had met every guy. It was a nice way to make at least initial contact with everybody and you could get an idea of who might be interested by how they reacted.

If your party or club has a "group room," sometimes that can be a good place to start. A lot of times old friends will pair off early in a party, meeting people they've partied with before. A newcomer can feel a bit left out. But the group room isn't about pairing off, and is a great place to just watch if you're not ready to jump in yet. And who knows, you might just be inspired to join in!

The point is that most parties or clubs offer something for everyone. Relax, meet some new friends, have a good time, and maybe even join in the fun. Whatever you're comfortable with. And next time, you'll find you're dressing sexier, getting more assertive when it comes to finding someone to play with, and generally having an even better time. Each positive experience builds your confidence. And there is nothing sexier than self-confidence.

Several good friends in the LifeStyle; they are some of the most accepting, fun-loving folks we've ever known. It's not for everyone, but just maybe, it's for you.