Sex, Swingers, Health

Swinging is a safe, international, middle class and increasingly popular leisure choice for married and courting couples.

Swinging is an enthusiasm that crosses social, economic, political and religious boundaries. The existence of a Christian swingers organization in the USA is not as surprising as one might suppose (though they seem aware of the irony of their position). American research has consistently found that swingers are.

Up to 90% of swingers identify with a religion and up to 47% regularly attend their place of worship. More recent research has suggested lower levels of religious attachment that nevertheless are still higher than the norm. US swingers tend to be Republicans, middle to upper-middle class, middle-aged and (over 90%) white. They are less racist, less sexist and uphold traditional relationship roles less than the population at large, though they place the same importance on marriage and family life. The incidence of disturbed family backgrounds (a charge levied by critics of swinging) is lower than average. In the light of this "any attempt to redefine "love" and strengthen the marital bond is worthy of our attention. If swingers have found a way to stabilize relationships, prolong family ties, and enrich the lives of couples we would be remiss if we did not take their lifestyle and their redefinition of monogamous love seriously."

It is not claimed for swinging that is appropriate for every relationship or even a large percentage of them. What is claimed is that it benefits or at least brings harmless enjoyment to a proportionately small but numerically large minority of couples. Estimates for the proportion of couples in the US who have included something that can be described as swinging at some point in their relationship vary from 1% to 15%.

Although sexual promiscuity is posited as the antithesis of emotional fidelity in the western romantic tradition, swingers maintain that joint experiences of recreational sex enhance their sexual and emotional bonds. By openly acknowledging their individual desires for sexual variety and pursuing these needs together, swingers claim to obviate the usual sources of deceit, betrayal and guilt in relationships. These destructive impulses, they say, are replaced with a deeper understanding and a higher plane of trust.

Scientific research on swingers in the USA has consistently found that swingers have better pair-bonds than monogamous couples. The most recent and most thorough research found swingers are happier in their relationships than the norm. 60% of swingers said that swinging improved their relationship and only 1.7% said it made their relationship less happy.

Half of those who rated their relationship very happy before becoming swingers maintained it had become even happier. 90% of those with less happy relationships said swinging improved them. Almost 70% of swingers claimed no problem with jealousy, around a quarter admitted to some jealousy but only 6% said it was very much a problem. Swingers rate themselves happier (59% against 32% very happy) and their lives much more exciting (76% against 54% exciting) than does the rest of the population, by surprisingly large margins. There was no difference between the responses of men and women.

SEXUAL HEALTH Being a swinger does not make catching an STD more likely. There are no public health concerns associated with swinging.

None of the countries that have large numbers of legal swingers clubs (there are 50 in the Netherlands alone and 400 in the USA) report any increase in sexually transmitted infections in the vicinity of swinging premises or in relation to swinging generally.

This is because swingers use condoms for penetrative sex. All swingers clubs have rules about condom use (ours is here) and the irresponsible are excluded. Surprisingly even before AIDS, when sex in swinging clubs (and everywhere else) was often unprotected, swinging clubs were not high risk areas for STD transmission. The type of people who swung were responsible middle-class couples, usually married and middle-aged, and therefore in the lowest risk groups for having STDs in the first place.

Some other sex scenes have been associated with high STD transmission. In particular, of course, the gay scene has been associated with HIV/AIDS through 'barebacking' (unprotected anal sex). The only ever case of HIV transmission in swinging also involved anal sex. In 1986 two women in a Minneapolis swingers club contracted HIV through repeated unprotected anal sex with two bi-sexual men. Neither woman infected their other partners. Needless to say, this does not typify swingers' behaviour in the C21st.

What about monogamous swinging relationships?

Many couples today are seeking a monogamous relationship with another couple to limit any outside exposure to diseases. In this situation, couples either agree to only "play" with each other, or they agree that any other outside activity will involve using condoms except with each other couple to couple. This lifestyle is as safe as you want it to be.

My girl and I are a little overweight, should we wait until we lose weight before we swing?

This is a common question. You will certainly increase your chances of finding other swingers if you are height and weight proportionate. Don't let this stop you though as a lot of lifestylers are over weight slightly. You will find all types and shapes of couples that are into the swing scene.

When we actually get down to the act of swinging for the first time, how fast should we go?

Always go as fast as the slowest person. If everyone wants to get naked, then get naked. But if one person is hesitant, then wait until that person is comfortable. Not following this important rule may cause problems.

What is the most important thing to know about the lifestyle?

We would have to say communication. Be as attentive and courteous to your partner as you are to the other couple. If you set rules and limits, then stick to them. If your partner does not have fun, you will probably never swing again. If your partner has a great time, you can look forward to having a very exciting future.

I'm a single guy, why do so many ads say "no single men"?

This is quite simple, and often misunderstood. The majority of swingers are couples. The majority of the women in these relationships are bisexual. Very few of the men are bisexual. Most often when a couple is looking for a threesome, it is because the man and the woman want to be with another woman. It benefits both of them. Only in situations where the woman would like two men at once, are single males sought. Also single men out number single women looking